Monday, May 22, 2006
Happy Monday. Amazing how manageable everything feels this evening. So different from how I felt this weekend. A few conversations, and bands loosen. Superficial, not particularly self-sufficient or inner-strengthy, but, so what? Happy Monday.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
It raining outside. Pouring, actually. Just got back from a great walk through the twilight rain shower. Wonderful light, the sky all wavy gray, the shiny leaves swaying in the damp wind, cool, but not cold. The most comfortable I ever feel when walking around is in weather like this.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Woke up very early this morning. Canceled plans to meet a friend for what likely would have been a really nice day. Just couldn't bring myself to be social today after the news I received yesterday. Probably a big mistake, since the hours have dragged by. Had coffee and read the paper at one of the many SBucks around, watching a seemingly endless line of parents and kids streaming through. After, took a long, aimless drive, just to stay out of the house a bit longer. What a quiet day. Hard to type this without seeming as though I am sitting here wallowing in self-pity. Maybe I am. Maybe.
I didn't realize, all those years ago, that I'd come to view that routine, seemingly so mundane, as so precious, so fleeting, so unattainable once lost. Freedom to eat, sleep, come, go as you please...that has become the real prison.